When you're a homeschooling mom, everything becomes an opportunity for learning, and when you have special needs kiddos, those opportunities can bring big challenges.
We went to a state park in Maryland this weekend to observe maple syrup making. Being from South Texas, and a stranger to maple trees, I was fascinated. During the demonstration, Bear reached out and pulled a little girl's hair. (Bear is on the autistic spectrum and very developmentally delayed, and while she is generally a happy child, she is quite aggressive.) Unfortunately, we were all watching the demonstration and didn't see her zoning in on the long, red hair of the unsuspecting ten-year-old. She doesn't let go easily, and by the time we got the other girl free, she was in tears. Hubby had to remove Bear from the area. Sometimes the only thing that settles her down is being seatbelted into her car seat, so there she went.
Bubba, Bug, and I continued to watch the demonstration until Bug became overwhelmed by the sensations of the smoke, fire, and growing crowds. (Bug has anxiety and sensory issues, so adjustments often need to be made quickly.) We decided that we would get Daddy and Bear and go try our hand (feet) at hiking.
Our first hiking trip and Bubba led us up, up, up the advanced course. I was a bit opposed at first, but sometimes you just do the things the "regular" kiddo wants to do just so he feels important, too. About a fourth of the way into the hike, Bear decided she was no longer walking. She's about 36 pounds now, and that gets heavy fast, especially when your climbing over rocks and trees. Hubby went ahead with Bubba and Bug at one point, and Bear and I lost the trail. To the right, it looked like no one had ever gone, but to the left, it looked nearly impossible, especially with a three-year-old on your back. After hemming and hawing a bit, I headed to the left, and little by little, I got us down into an opening where I looked up and saw my dear hubby and older kiddos coming back for us. I was so relieved, especially when he started carrying Bear again.
The waterfall we hiked to was beautiful. We did have a few more instances with other children and pets as we looked at the falls, but they were minor. We took the easier path back to the car and just enjoyed the rest of our day together.
I used to be one of those people. You know, the kind who look at an unruly, loud, tearful, or aggressive kiddo and think what is wrong with those parents. Don't they know that you have to start training children early so they don't turn into brats? Well, I take back every mean-spirited thought I've ever had in that vein. Sometimes, that is the best behavior the kiddos have been able to muster in days. Maybe they're overwhelmed easily. Maybe it's your perfume, the brightness of the lights, or the temperature that has set them off. I promise you, we're doing the best we can. We might not always be able to participate like everyone else in places where it's noisy or crowded, but I'm glad that my family can still enjoy each other.
Monday, March 18, 2013
The Moving Story
So I was about seven months pregant with our first child when my husband decided it was time to look for a new job. What was he thinking? Being that it was another government job, the process drug on for months.
Meanwhile, I was able to start attending my first ladies' Bible study. (The church we were attending always held these during the daytime, and as a teacher, that didn't fit into my schedule before I became a full-time momma.) The Bible study we were doing, Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Shirer, kept talking week after week about following God's leading. God told Abram to leave his homeland and go. God told Ruth to leave her homeland and go. I began to question whether my husband might actually be right about this job change thing.
Then one October day, on the way to lunch after Bible study, my young son was crying in frustration in the backseat. I tried to give him his pacifier. Unfortunately, he had a rattle in his mouth that he just wouldn't take out. I told him, "You'll have to get rid of that rattle before I can give you your pacifier," and it was as if God suddenly said to me, "You'll have to get rid of what you're holding onto before I can give you what you really need." I called my husband and told him that I knew we were indeed supposed to be taking a new job and moving on, and one hour later that job that he had been waiting on since May was offered to him.
Since that day, I have been a better listener to the wisdom God gives my husband. I'm not perfect at it, but when the Lord keeps offering you sign after sign, you have to wake up and pay attention.
Meanwhile, I was able to start attending my first ladies' Bible study. (The church we were attending always held these during the daytime, and as a teacher, that didn't fit into my schedule before I became a full-time momma.) The Bible study we were doing, Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Shirer, kept talking week after week about following God's leading. God told Abram to leave his homeland and go. God told Ruth to leave her homeland and go. I began to question whether my husband might actually be right about this job change thing.
Then one October day, on the way to lunch after Bible study, my young son was crying in frustration in the backseat. I tried to give him his pacifier. Unfortunately, he had a rattle in his mouth that he just wouldn't take out. I told him, "You'll have to get rid of that rattle before I can give you your pacifier," and it was as if God suddenly said to me, "You'll have to get rid of what you're holding onto before I can give you what you really need." I called my husband and told him that I knew we were indeed supposed to be taking a new job and moving on, and one hour later that job that he had been waiting on since May was offered to him.
Since that day, I have been a better listener to the wisdom God gives my husband. I'm not perfect at it, but when the Lord keeps offering you sign after sign, you have to wake up and pay attention.
Available
My husband and I have been married for 18 years, the last six of which have been one rollercoaster after another. We have three children: Bubba (5), Bug (4), and Bear (3). My girls, the youngest two, are adopted, and each have special needs, and living with these has made us refocus from a life of long range planning and goals to living just one day at a time.
We are also embarking on the journey of homeschooling. As a former public and Christian school teacher, this is not exactly where I thought the Lord would lead us, but I am glad he did. (I'll talk more about this later.)
We were living in Texas, and I was about seven months pregnant with our first child, when my husband felt led to find a new job. So when our newborn was four months old, we packed up everything and headed to Colorado. (I wasn't super keen on the idea at first, but that's another post.)
A year later, we received a phone call telling us that our oldest daughter had been born, and would we be willing to care for her while her biological parents worked on some things. That year was a bag of mixed emotions. At first I didn't want to care too deeply for this beautiful tiny angel; it was only going to be temporary after all. But one day, after a heart-to heart with Jesus, I realized she needed a full-time mommy, no matter how temporary the situation might be. Fifteen months later we finalized her adoption and were so proud to finally legally call her ours.
Meanwhile the biological parents had a second daughter who also came to live with us. At five and half months old, she began having seizures. The particular kind of seizures were known as infantile spasms, which most pediatricians are unfamiliar with and frequently misdiagnose as reflux. Life suddenly changed. Of my three kiddos, the oldest was still two, and life was now a maze of doctor's appointments and hospital stays. It was several months before we got her seizures under control, and they took quite a toll on her little brain. She lost all developmental abilities and became like a newborn again. Of course she was now a twenty-one pound (a side affect of the steroid treatment) newborn, which made for some interesting situations. We promised to forever be hers shortly after her first birthday.
Then my husband's job moved to Virginia, where we are now living in a tiny hamlet west of the D.C. area where he works. I have learned to be available. That's all God really wants from us, just to be available. He might call us to foreign missions, or he might just call us to teach the Word to our own children, but we must be available.
We are also embarking on the journey of homeschooling. As a former public and Christian school teacher, this is not exactly where I thought the Lord would lead us, but I am glad he did. (I'll talk more about this later.)
We were living in Texas, and I was about seven months pregnant with our first child, when my husband felt led to find a new job. So when our newborn was four months old, we packed up everything and headed to Colorado. (I wasn't super keen on the idea at first, but that's another post.)
A year later, we received a phone call telling us that our oldest daughter had been born, and would we be willing to care for her while her biological parents worked on some things. That year was a bag of mixed emotions. At first I didn't want to care too deeply for this beautiful tiny angel; it was only going to be temporary after all. But one day, after a heart-to heart with Jesus, I realized she needed a full-time mommy, no matter how temporary the situation might be. Fifteen months later we finalized her adoption and were so proud to finally legally call her ours.
Meanwhile the biological parents had a second daughter who also came to live with us. At five and half months old, she began having seizures. The particular kind of seizures were known as infantile spasms, which most pediatricians are unfamiliar with and frequently misdiagnose as reflux. Life suddenly changed. Of my three kiddos, the oldest was still two, and life was now a maze of doctor's appointments and hospital stays. It was several months before we got her seizures under control, and they took quite a toll on her little brain. She lost all developmental abilities and became like a newborn again. Of course she was now a twenty-one pound (a side affect of the steroid treatment) newborn, which made for some interesting situations. We promised to forever be hers shortly after her first birthday.
Then my husband's job moved to Virginia, where we are now living in a tiny hamlet west of the D.C. area where he works. I have learned to be available. That's all God really wants from us, just to be available. He might call us to foreign missions, or he might just call us to teach the Word to our own children, but we must be available.
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