Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Encouragement

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.  Philippians 4:8

As a mom, encouragement is something that is easy to give and hard to receive, but it is sometimes desperately needed. I've had women tell me that I am such a good mother or that I am so strong and patient, and honestly, I smile politely and say thank you all the while thinking, "You don't know. You don't hear how often I lose my temper, how frustrated I get about things that seem to be nearly unchangeable."

In my state, when a child can not be cared for outside of an institution, should the parents not be doing it, they can qualify for a certain amount of extra caregiver time within the home. That is to say, I have an aid that is with me five days a week to help out with Bear's needs. It took a LONG time to admit that I needed help, but finally last spring I did. Our first aid was happy but wholly unreliable, and then we met J. J is a gift straight from God. She is a young Christian lady who loves my munchkins, and she is calm but firm with them, and though she frequently bears the physical marks of  the outbursts of my youngest, she always has a smile in her heart and on her face.

Because J is with me daily, she witnesses my shining and not-so-spectacular mommy moments. On Mother's Day she brought tears to my eyes with this text message:

Happy mother's day! You're such a strong loving person. Your kids are very blessed to have you as their mama. You're like a warrior in the mom world. Have a great day and soak in whatever relaxing time you can! :)

It absolutely amazes me that someone who sees me day in and day out can say such wonderful things about me as a mom. Sometimes I feel so defeated in thinking if only I were more patient, if only I didn't have that A-type personality, if only, if only... Then I remember that's exactly what the evil one wants. He wants me to compare myself to other moms so that I will become discouraged. He wants me to give in and give up on my calling to raise my children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)

Sometimes, when Bug is frustrated with the world, she will announce that I am not her parent any more, and then she asks for me to tell her this story.

When you were born, God saw that you needed a momma. He looked out over the whole world and found me. He said, "Will you be her momma?" I said, "Yes." Then God looked at your daddy and said, "Will you be her daddy?" He said, "Yes." You see, God gave us to you and you to us. So no matter how frustrated you are with us or we with you, we will always love you, and we will always be there for you."

It's not just a story; it's the truth. God did speak to my heart and say, "Will you do this?" "I want to, God, but I'm not sure I'm able." His assurance came to me through scripture.

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Philippians 4:13

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

When the shadows of doubt fall, I need to remember that it is only in His strength that I continue on. He doesn't want someone who already knows everything to raise these children; He wants someone who is desperate to learn from Him. A fellow mom shared this verse with me, one that I had never really noticed before: There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. Romans 8:1

God doesn't condemn me for my daily slip-ups, rather He urges me to seek Him. He doesn't want me to focus on the negative, but rather on that which is true and right. He loves me and has called me to share that love with my children.

To anyone reading this blog, thank you for any encouragement that you have sent my way, and if you are daily or even weekly entering into someone's world, take the time to speak encouragement into their lives. Remind them that Our Father does see, know, and loves them unconditionally.