In the Trenches

Today is just one of those days, the kind with a slow start that keeps hitting a dead end repeatedly.

Bear is now officially off her seizure medicine, and the sleeplessness has kicked into high gear. (I think I did better when I hardly ever slept more than 3-4 hours. The occasional night of 6-8 hours of sleep is knocking me around.) Bug woke up grouchy and demanding after I had managed to accumulate 3.5 hours of sleep throughout the night. She then proceeded to wake the rest of the house with her expansive use of lung power. It's been a battle ever since.

Bear was so tired she didn't eat lunch before asking to go to bed. Bug, however, just became more and more overstimulated. I spent 20 minutes as a human weight blanket getting her calm only to have her start all over again the moment I got up.

It's days like this when I cling to the knowledge that God knows and cares all about me and the very details of my life.

Matthew 10:29-31 says, "Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father.  But the very hairs of your head are all numbered . Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows." This is also repeated in Luke 12:6-7.

Do I always like being in the trenches? No. Is it worth it? Yes. God gave me these babies not only to care for them but also to refine me, and I've got a long way to go. 

The song "Refiner's Fire" by Brian Doerksen comes to mind at times like this.

 

Verse 1:

Purify my heart
Let me be as gold and precious silver
Purify my heart
Let me be as gold, pure gold
 

Chorus:

Refiner's fire
My heart's one desire
Is to be holy
Set apart for You, Lord
I choose to be holy
Set apart for You, my Master
Ready to do Your will
 

Verse 2:

Purify my heart
Cleanse me from within
And make me holy
Purify my heart
Cleanse me from my sin
Deep within

How is your day in the trenches going? Don't forget that He knows all about you, too. Maybe that problem you're having at work, with your spouse, or with your children should be looked at as an opportunity to grow to become more like Him.